Christmas is over.....

Well Christmas is officially over and I dont have any plans or parties on the horizon the next week, even for New Years.  I have to work all week (not weekends). My children are with me for New Years so we will do something kid friendly.   We are invited to a kid friendly party but I dont even want to go... right now I think staying home might be the plan.

After 5 days of no alcohol last week, I had 3 days of lots.  Two big shin digs on Saturday the 22nd that left me with one of those nasty hangovers.  Sunday I had a Bloody Mary at lunch to help kick the Hair of the Dog.  Nope, didnt help.  I think I had a headache off and on for 2 days.  Xmas Eve I had plenty of wine and on Xmas Day I had  more wine.  I paid for it.  My stomach has been on fire.... between the sugar, wine and junk food, my body is not happy. Today, I am staying away from sugar and the rest of week I'm pledging no wine ( or any alcohol) either. 

January 2, I am starting a Whole 30 Clean Food Challenge to get my body back on track, which includes no alcohol. I need it.  I have done this challenge before.  Some friends are doing it with me so I have a good support group.  Not only do I know I need to kick the alcohol habit, I see that sugar is my problem also.  This past month when I started drinking more again, I started to eat more sugar and processed foods. 

So its time to focus on my health, physically and mentally.  I would love to say I am going alcohol free in 2013. Am I weak? Am I afraid to commit or admit I may have a problem?  I finally realized I have been using alcohol to cope with stress, my feelings etc.  I can't believe I was in such a fog the last two years.  Do I just need a good therapist?  Do I just want moderation to be my answer, oh wait, I have been trying moderation. 

So I guess I'm just going to stay in limbo for a while until I make a commitment and a decision and stick with it.  Someone blogged about or recently told me, dont take too much on.  Just focus on something little.  So I will.  January I will officially start my challenge, eat clean whole foods and NO alcohol.  Get back into my work out routine. 

That's the plan.... one day at a time.

Momma Bee




 

The Plan....

I stuck to my plan.... No drinks tonight.  My son and I had a nice dinner with a friend and her son.  It was nice to chat with her...we don't get to see each other often.  Came home, finished Xmas cards and watched some TV.  So nice to have 5 days straight of no alcohol.

In October I had 3 weeks straight... My goal for 2013 is a lot more days of no alcohol.  Jan 2 starts my 30 day Whole 30 Clean Food Challenge.... Not sure which will be harder, wine or sugar?

I'm looking forward to a Healthier 2013, both mentally and physically!

First up tomorrow, hitting the gym then lots of cleaning!

Off to bed, looking forward to a good nights sleep!

Momma Bee

Holiday Weekend is Here....

After I left work yesterday, I did a few errands for Xmas and I pondered buying a bottle of wine.  I didn't.  Instead , I counted in my head how many days in a row I had of no alcohol.  I was working on Day 4.  While wrapping presents last night w/ my son I thought to myself, I would have drank the whole bottle if I bought one.  Wonder how bad my wrappings  would of looked?  When we were done, kids went up to bed, I sat down, my back was sore, and I thought I deserve a lil reward for all I did tonight.  I had something to make a mixed drink.   I resisted and glad I did.  I went to bed at 11 and woke two times after some strange dreams.  I bagged the gym this morning and enjoyed the extra hour of sleep. 

It will be a long weekend of parties, celebrations and the crazy family is coming to town. I have plans to hit the gym tomorrow morning, so I will stay away from the wine tonight, that is the plan anyway. 

Why don't I always have the will-power to stick to the plan?

Happy Friday to all!

Momma Bee

Back to old habits.....

December is here and I am falling back into my old habits.  I drank 11/19 days in December.  November was 9/30 days and October was 2/31 days......... Notice a pattern? I'm close to drinking daily again.  I dont want to be that person anymore. 

Who keeps track?  Just people who wonder if they have a drinking problem.

January 1, friends are doing a Whole 30 Clean Eating Challenge.  Which means I pledge to be alcohol (and sugar)  FREE for 30 days.

Now to just get thru the holidays with out over indulging and focus on my health.

Momma B.

Survived Whole 30, Now Sobriety

Monday was my last day of the Whole 30 Challenge.... I survived it.  My 2 big cheats (I really didn't have any mini cheats) was the bottle of red wine and some sips of beer on Day 14 and a piece of cheesy bread on Day 29.

I'm proud to say I lost 10 lbs and I plan to keep on eating this way as much as I can.  I told my friends, I'm going for 60.  I feel really good and my sleep, my skin and my energy has improved.  One of the real reasons I am continuing to eat clean becasue it is helping me not to drink.  I now have 19 days straight of no liquor.  Wine has been my vice and has been for quite a while now.  I went to my MD and told her I think I am really depressed and I'm drinking way to much wine. I have questioned my alcohol consumption and I am not comfortable with it.  Why, because once I start, I usually don't stop.  I went thru a bad divorce 5 years ago and I know deep down inside, I never dealt with the pain.  The last two years, maybe three, I've been drinking to cope.  I didn't realize until lately, how bad I was.  I don't want to hit the typical rock bottom.... this is bad enough.  No one knows what I am really going thru except my boyfriend, my doctor and now my acupuncturist.  I just went for a session to help deal with the cravings.  I haven't had the typical detox symptons or any real cravings.  My emotions have been all over the place and I find myself unusally quiet and keeping to myself.  My doctor is sending me to a therapist that deals with addiction.  I see him next week.... I'll wait to see what he has to say about me.

I can't think about not drinking forever yet... each day I take a pledge to myself, I will not pick up that first drink today.  The first is never the last recently.
 
So now I must focus on my health, mentally and physically.  I need to be a better more.  More attentive to my kids needs.  My plan is to keep eating clean, daily exercise and no wine.   I need to stop drinking b/c my feelings, reality and daily problems are not going to solve themselves.
Momma Bee

Day 23 of Whole 30

Had a great weekend other than my son breaking his wrist... He will Get a real cast today. He was a real trooper and didn't milk it too bad!

I didn't exercise this weekend because my schedule was full. I hosted a baby shower at my home, 2 soccer games, nutrition class, errands and an acupuncture class!! I loved the acupuncture too! I survived many temptations with food and desserts and stuck to the plan. I really didn't have any wine cravings either... Moment here and there but nothing to talk about.

I def. notice I am in more tune with my body and emotions. At times it is not fun but I realized how many other areas of my life was being neglected. I don't want to do that anymore!

Running late so I need to get to moving. I plan to leave work a little early to see my sons school soccer game. Busy night w/ kids stuff and my favorite shows are on tonight! Going to be a good day!!

Momma Bee

Better Night

After I left work yesterday I hit my exercise class and pushed myself and burned over 600 calories!  I felt so much better mentally afterwards.  I came home, showered, chatted with the kids and made a clean dinner of steak and sweet potatoes.  I was in a much better place than the night before.  Went to bed early and took the early morning spin class! I feel really good today! Tonight is a long night of kids sports/appointments, so it will keep me busy and out of trouble!

Momma Bee