Friday, April 4, 2014

I reached out~

I ran into an old friend yesterday and we had a nice conversation.  After we parted I thought to myself, that was a sign that I ran into "Sally."  "Sally" I thought was in recovery but I wasn't positive.  So later in the day I sent her a FB message and asked her, do you happen to go to AA??  I was a nervous wreck all day waiting for her response.  Maybe she doesn't go to AA or maybe she feel I violated her privacy.  Later last night she responded and it was wonderful.  She is in recovery and has been for the past several years.  She is passionate about her recovery and offered her cell and any assistance about meetings or any other info she could offer.  I responded to her that it is me looking for some local AA meetings.  We have exchanged a few messages already today and I feel so much better.  I was petrified to reach out for some real life support. Back in January, I went to a meeting and couldn't walk inside.  I sat in the parking lot next door watching a few men go in and I just couldn't bring myself to go.  I am not sure if AA is for me but I do know that my alcohol consumption the last few years was getting worse and it would only be a matter of time before something really bad might happen.  I don't know what my future holds but I do know I want to be in a better place mentally and physically.  I want to be better mom and be more present for my children.  My depression, anxiety as of late isn't helping me be the best mom, girlfriend, daughter, friend or employee that I can be.

Until recently, I didn't realize how many moms, normal ladies like myself were struggling with alcohol.  Our society has a negative stigma of people who struggle with alcoholism or any addiction.  There are so many men and women and probably a few in our own social circles that are struggling and too scared to raise their hand and say, I think I need help.  I know because I am or was one of them.

Please watch this clip from this weeks Today Show, it may help you or someone you know to understand they are not alone and maybe will raise their hand and ask for some help.

Thanks for reading and your support.  It is because many of you I am finally on the road to recovery.

Momma Bee
Day 17

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