Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Christmas is over.....

Well Christmas is officially over and I dont have any plans or parties on the horizon the next week, even for New Years.  I have to work all week (not weekends). My children are with me for New Years so we will do something kid friendly.   We are invited to a kid friendly party but I dont even want to go... right now I think staying home might be the plan.

After 5 days of no alcohol last week, I had 3 days of lots.  Two big shin digs on Saturday the 22nd that left me with one of those nasty hangovers.  Sunday I had a Bloody Mary at lunch to help kick the Hair of the Dog.  Nope, didnt help.  I think I had a headache off and on for 2 days.  Xmas Eve I had plenty of wine and on Xmas Day I had  more wine.  I paid for it.  My stomach has been on fire.... between the sugar, wine and junk food, my body is not happy. Today, I am staying away from sugar and the rest of week I'm pledging no wine ( or any alcohol) either. 

January 2, I am starting a Whole 30 Clean Food Challenge to get my body back on track, which includes no alcohol. I need it.  I have done this challenge before.  Some friends are doing it with me so I have a good support group.  Not only do I know I need to kick the alcohol habit, I see that sugar is my problem also.  This past month when I started drinking more again, I started to eat more sugar and processed foods. 

So its time to focus on my health, physically and mentally.  I would love to say I am going alcohol free in 2013. Am I weak? Am I afraid to commit or admit I may have a problem?  I finally realized I have been using alcohol to cope with stress, my feelings etc.  I can't believe I was in such a fog the last two years.  Do I just need a good therapist?  Do I just want moderation to be my answer, oh wait, I have been trying moderation. 

So I guess I'm just going to stay in limbo for a while until I make a commitment and a decision and stick with it.  Someone blogged about or recently told me, dont take too much on.  Just focus on something little.  So I will.  January I will officially start my challenge, eat clean whole foods and NO alcohol.  Get back into my work out routine. 

That's the plan.... one day at a time.

Momma Bee