Monday, February 17, 2014

Back to Reality~

I am back now over a week from my vacation to Costa Rica, which is Central America, not South America.  One of the many things I learned.  It truly is an amazing country and if you enjoy nature, you must go.  We hiked, zip-lined (cried I was so scared), saw beautiful water falls and even a poisonous snake to close for my comfort in the rain forest.  We saw white faced monkeys and a huge crocodiles on our River Boat tour.  We ate fresh mahi mahi that my friends caught deep sea fishing.  I had two massages, facial, pedicures and read two books on the gorgeous beach and by the pool.  I came back tan and relaxed.

I also drank after being sober 101 days.  I pledged to Belle to continue and go 180 days sober a few weeks prior to vacation.  I made the decision and I did drink daily.  Some days a little and some days a lot~ I had a huge bruise to show for it when I tripped down the steps.  HUGE, I should of taken a photo.  No one forced me and no influenced me, I myself made that decision.  I am sad I broke my streak.  I think when I heard the hotel manager say what happens in Costa Rica stays in Costa Rica , my wolfie brain took that into consideration.  Looking back I did what I believed I wanted and not having any responsibility or my children with me, I wasn't hurting anyone. 

I told myself when you step back into the states, no drinking.  So after being home 2 days and I was at a b-day celebration and I was offered wine, I said sure and drank 3 glasses.  When I saw the host fill my glass I didn't say no.  When I came home and thought about it the next day I knew I didn't want to go back to my old ways.  I knew from watching others in the sober blogging community it is so easy to get back into that trap.  I don't want that anymore.  I was in funk all last week and avoided coming online and checking in.  I started reading the Jason Vale book, Kick the Drink Easily and I agree with many of his beliefs and thinking.  Its a great read.  I read it most of the weekend.  I feel better now going into this week.  After have a sober weekend I feel more like my old self prior to vacation.  I didn't have any cravings and the thought didn't cross my mind to drink this weekend.

I have many mixed feelings and plan to discuss them with my therapist later this week.  I am going away for a long weekend with a few ladies for a friends birthday this weekend.  It will be another great trip and I can do it sober. 

Momma Bee


  1. I have heard that Vale book recommended again and again. Will have to read it. I'm glad you shared openly and honestly. Will keep you in my thoughts.

  2. You can absolutely do it sober! I believe in you :) Can't wait to hear about your trip-save travels!

  3. Thanks ladies~ I know I have come along way from summer and I feel better about that. Thank you for your support and encouragement.