Friday, October 26, 2012

Survived Whole 30, Now Sobriety

Monday was my last day of the Whole 30 Challenge.... I survived it.  My 2 big cheats (I really didn't have any mini cheats) was the bottle of red wine and some sips of beer on Day 14 and a piece of cheesy bread on Day 29.

I'm proud to say I lost 10 lbs and I plan to keep on eating this way as much as I can.  I told my friends, I'm going for 60.  I feel really good and my sleep, my skin and my energy has improved.  One of the real reasons I am continuing to eat clean becasue it is helping me not to drink.  I now have 19 days straight of no liquor.  Wine has been my vice and has been for quite a while now.  I went to my MD and told her I think I am really depressed and I'm drinking way to much wine. I have questioned my alcohol consumption and I am not comfortable with it.  Why, because once I start, I usually don't stop.  I went thru a bad divorce 5 years ago and I know deep down inside, I never dealt with the pain.  The last two years, maybe three, I've been drinking to cope.  I didn't realize until lately, how bad I was.  I don't want to hit the typical rock bottom.... this is bad enough.  No one knows what I am really going thru except my boyfriend, my doctor and now my acupuncturist.  I just went for a session to help deal with the cravings.  I haven't had the typical detox symptons or any real cravings.  My emotions have been all over the place and I find myself unusally quiet and keeping to myself.  My doctor is sending me to a therapist that deals with addiction.  I see him next week.... I'll wait to see what he has to say about me.

I can't think about not drinking forever yet... each day I take a pledge to myself, I will not pick up that first drink today.  The first is never the last recently.
 
So now I must focus on my health, mentally and physically.  I need to be a better more.  More attentive to my kids needs.  My plan is to keep eating clean, daily exercise and no wine.   I need to stop drinking b/c my feelings, reality and daily problems are not going to solve themselves.
Momma Bee