Thursday, December 19, 2013

Where did this month go?

Ummm, hello?  We are half way thru December and Christmas is in less than a week.  I remember saying to myself, wow November flew by.  I looked at the calendar yesterday and thought, I have been sober for 8 weekends in a row?  When I tried the 100 day challenge the past I made it 2 weeks and had to start over.  So many times I would say, I will only drink on weekends, or special events, or every other day and some times I would do it but not before long I would be back to drinking 5,6 or 7 days per week.  So one morning when I was wide awake at 3:30 I finally just had enough of the bullshit. and I vowed to quit for 100 days.  I told myself I wouldn't die or miss out on anything if I quit for 100 days.  Guess what, I am on Day 58 and I am ok.  I have been moody, irritable, restless, and bored at times but the moments pass.  However, I was like too when I was drinking.  I have watched friends drink a glass or two and even watched friends get drunk.  I have had a few moments where I wish I was drinking too but not once have I had a moment when I woke up and said, I wish I was hung over.  I don't miss the hangovers.  I don't miss eating shitty greasy food in hopes it makes me feel better.  I don't miss trying to hide my drinking or how much I already had.   I don't miss trying not to slur when I speak.  I don't miss the unknown of I did that or I said that? 

Looking back the past 58 days were not really that hard... yup there were some sucky moments but the time is flying by and I am ok with it. 

I am looking forward to Christmas and the New Year.  There will be no New Years resolution this year because I already started mine.  Every year I make a promise to drink less, exercise more and be healthier.  The hardest one I am already doing, drink less.  The rest will fall into place as more days go by.

I am actually proud of myself and I don't remember the last time I said that. 

Thanks for your support.

Momma Bee