Day 7~ Treated Myself

 

 

Today I treated myself something special at the Farmers Market.  Just like my sober pen pal suggested.  A bouquet of flowers.  Almost the price of a bottle of wine.  I am so happy where I am today. I feel like the grip is loosening, a tiny bit.  I have been here before but I feel stronger this time.  The longest stretch of sober days (in the last 4 years) was 21 days about 2 years ago.  When I was trying to travel down this same road.  This time I have my sober community for support (always looking for more sober pen pals), tools and the memories that I want to forget but can't because if I do I will think that I wasn't that bad. 

 

So as I finish my first week I am excited to start the next.  Each day I am one step further away from Wolfie (the bad guy inside my head) and one step closer to the person I am suppose to be.  Happy with myself, loving myself and proud of myself.

 

Each day, one step closer. 

 

I will not pick up that first glass.

 

Happy Tuesday!

 

 

Happy Sober Monday

Today starts Day 6.... I'm sleeping so much it's wonderful.  The last night I drank which was last Tuesday I was up 3 am and couldn't go back to sleep.  I would wake up so much at night when I was drinking.  Now if I wake, I roll over and go right back to sleep.  I think my body is starting to heal itself and I am so glad.  I still haven't gone back to the gym.  I woke at 4:45 am today and turned off my 5 am alarm.  Next I thing I know it is 6:45 and I realize the whole house is still asleep..... So one kid misses the bus but I didn't care.  No momma freak outs this morning.  Actually things were nice and calm and dinner is already prepped in the crock pot.  I will see if I can squeeze a quick trip to the gym after work before I come home.  

No big plans this week except work and kid activities.  Nothing on tap this weekend either.  I'm bagging the 10K race I am signed up for.  I haven't trained and I haven't been doing any cardio either.  I will be trained for my next 10K in February 2014. I don't even like running. I'm not a fast runner, I actually do a run/walk method but when the race is over I'm so happy I did it even if at a snails pace. 

So I am trucking along this 100 day challenge and I couldn't be happier.  I know this road isn't going to be easy but I finally feel I am ready to take this on and not just a few days either.

GO ME!

Momma B

Uggggg

Day 5.....

My son had a bad time at his dance last night, he called and asked for me to get him early.  Glad , I wasn't drinking so I could be there and talk to him about what happened.

Today, I slept till 9 and it's 2pm and  I am still in my robe. I'm tired, cranky, moody and I don't know why.  Took a few cat naps, guess it's just catching up with me.  I read before somewhere, detoxing sometimes has flu like symptoms.  Yup, that's how I feel. Tired, cranky, moody, headache and blah.  I feel dehydrated too.  I've been drinking lots of mineral water and tea.  Maybe the Chinese take out last night had too much MSG or something.

I'm forcing myself to shower and take my son for a haircut.  I cleaned half the house yesterday and really need to do the upstairs when I get back.  Hopefully a shower and some fresh air will help.

This Sunday feels like a hang over Sunday but it's not....... I'm thankful for that.

MommaBee

Light Bulb Moment

Last night after falling asleep on the sofa twice, I finally carried my lazy ass up to bed around 10:15.  As I snuggled under the covers listening to my BF snore away (wishing he was still sleeping on the sofa, huge snorer) I was thinking.... Day 2 done. Weekend coming, be strong.  Then I thought, my thoughts are consumed on not drinking, don't focus too hard about days ahead, take one day at a time.

Wow the light bulb went off...... Ugggh, I don't want to think about drinking. I'm "Tired of Thinking About Drinking".  Belle, my favorite sober blogger has picked the best title of her blog.

http://tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.wordpress.com

Belle founded a 100 Day No Drinking challenge.  Each month her group grows. Some are now working on an 180 day challenge. I'm taking the challenge, again. I'm motivated by the others in their various stages of sobriety. I'm comforted that I am not alone with my personal struggle. I'm encouraged that over time it will get easier, especially with the mind game.

So as I read other blogs I nod my head yes that's true. I file away what I need to use in my own journey and some are:

Cravings last about 10 mins.

The first drink is the enemy, not the 4th one.

Avoid temptation the first few days and weeks, even if you have to hide under the covers in your locked bedroom.

The more days away from alcohol the better you will feel.

Your not alone and your not a loser or failure.

So onto Day 3 and the weekend.  I've survived weekends before. Maybe I will drag my lazy butt to the gym this weekend.   You never regret a workout when it's over.

Happy Weekend to all.

MommaB.

Day 2 of 100 Day Challenge

I don't want to count days b/c it looks like a long road~

Catching up on a few of my favorite Sobriety Blogs~

Slept 8 hours straight last night & it felt awesome~

Bought a few herbal teas today~

Hope to hit the gym early tomorrow morning~

Hoping to find a sober pen pal~

Time for lunch~

B.

Starting Over~ 100 Day Challenge

Today I was wide awake @ 3 am thinking about me.  After drinking 2 bottles of wine last night in hiding of course and thinking about how many bottles I have drank in just the last week alone, I know its time again to take the 100 day challenge.  I have been "questioning" my drinking for almost 2 years now and have a few rounds of 5, 10, 15 and 20 days in a row without drinking followed by another round of several days of drinking in a row. I have gained 30 lbs the last 2 years, my BP has risen and lord knows what else I am doing to my insides. 

I have been following various bloggers for a while now and signed up twice in the last year for Belle's 100 Day Challenge and never making it past 30 days.  I read about how happy and proud the many participants are when they reach 100 days, not easy but so worth it.  I need to do this.  That needs to be me in 100 days.  Actually in 100 days or so I am going on a week vacation out of the country at an all inclusive hotel with unlimited amounts of alcohol and food.  I can't think that far ahead. 

Right now, I can only think of how to get thru this evening.  I took the pledge to not drink for 100 days. 

Today is Day 1. 

Momma Bee

Time to Dump Wolfie

Today is Sunday, almost thru the whole weekend.  I've been reading and subscribing to a few blogs, mostly ladies doing the 100 day challenge.  No liquor of any kind for 100 days in a row.  That's the ultimate goal and I'm taking it one day at a time.  Trying to reflect daily on how alcohol isn't adding anything positive to my life.  There is some in my house right now,  beer, tea coolers and some vodka.  No wine.  Wine was my first and favorite drink of choice.  I can drink a glass like it like its water.  Funny,  I'm not sure I really like wine. The first glass always taste the worst, lol.

No one knows that I'm doing the challenge.  I've taken my clean eating serious at times and it was an easy excuse to use why I wasn't drinking. Right now my focus is to drink no alcohol and get back into my old healthy routine.  Wake up at 5 am to work out before the kids head to school and I go to work.    I like waking up with no hangovers & not feeling like crap.  Each day I am a step closer to riding toxins from my body, clearer thoughts, restful sleep and feeling better about myself and my choices.

I'm not thinking days ahead, just a day at a time.  This Wedneaday I have a challenge, I'm taking a half day to see a baseball game with a friend who is a big beer drinker.  I'm going to say I will be DD.  I'll make up an excuse I have stomach issues.  I wish I didn't say I would go a few weeks back.  I can't bag on her since its just the 2 of us.  So I will just suck it up and be strong!

Why won't I tell people I am doing a challenge of no alcohol for 100 days? Because I'm not confident enough in myself and don't want to look like a failure. That's why.  When I make it to 30 days, I will share with everyone else.  I want to reach that goal first and then make my "announcement."

Reading blogs and hearing how other ladies have gone to weddings, graduations,parties, social gatherings and made it just fine with out alcohol.  Another blog I read today compared alcohol to an abusive relationship.  If someone hurts your friend time and time again, wouldn't you tell the friend it's time to dump the relationship that is harming her. So if alcohol is harming me, shouldn't I dump him? Yup, that sounds like a good idea.  That's my plan, to dump this harmful relationship (aka Wolfie) and see how great my life can be with out him!!!

Onto Day 7.

Good Night.

Momma Bee