Wow, my first sober Thanksgiving. Well I have many before I was 21 and after.... but I don't remember the last one the past 6-7 years. I'm not sure how I feel about it looking back on yesterday. I woke w/ a bad headache today and feel weirdly emotional today. I have been on the go since the end of work on Wednesday cooking and cleaning for Thanksgiving. I was busy all day yesterday and was asleep by 9 on the sofa last night. I made a delicious meal and my whole family thoroughly enjoyed. It was a nice day enjoyed by all. Moments here and there during the day I thought about wine or thought, wouldn't it be nice to have glass right now.. and then the thoughts quickly went too.. who are you kidding, you wouldn't stop at one glass or even two. I am just happy that the day went well and I did it w/o any alcohol in my system. I think that I was so busy helped me forget about wine. I am not so sure how I would of been if I was just a guest at yesterdays holiday dinner.
Those thoughts there my friends are why I am on this 100 Day Sober Journey which should go well and beyond the 100 days. My only focus is to stay sober for another day, week and month. I have been reading Mr. Sponsorpants: Adventures in Society and the 12 Steps for AA as suggested by a great blogger, Christy at http://runningonsober.com/. Thou I am only a few chapters in, I am relating to so much of it already. Check it out on Kindle, its a steal for $ 3.99. I am trying to keep up on the many sober blogs I follow and there are so many different posts I can relate to from my past experiences with alcohol to my current experiences sans alcohol. I have a few sober pen pals and this really does help me and I hope I too have been some help to them. Just having someone to communicate to who understands and won't judge me helps me tremendously and also the anonymity helps me feel safe to truly be free and truthful about my dependency on alcohol.
Did I just type that, my dependency on alcohol. I guess the sooner I really accept that statement, the sooner my real journey will truly begin.
Thanks for reading~
Momma Bee
I am so happy for you MB! Staying busy was and still is very important to me in my sobriety. It was especially helpful during the start of my recovery and in situations that you touched upon; situations that I used as a reason to drink. Being productive and occupied is better for me than being pie-eyed.
ReplyDeleteAlso, clearly I cannot speak to anyone's problem but my own. When you mentioned at the end of your post possibly admitting to having a dependency on alcohol I smiled. I smiled because when I did that same thing I started to turn a corner from being, what I view as, dry to sober. Being dry, or abstaining from alcohol was the very first step for me. But recognizing that I was dependent on alcohol allowed me to step back and begin to take a look at myself and work on the issues within me that led to my alcoholism; from there living sober became more of a thing, more of a goal, a process, an adventure of learning about myself.
What I am trying to do is express to you that I understand and can relate. No matter the race, ethnicity, system of beliefs, education, tax bracket, whatever, that someone is/has alcoholism is a very real thing; a very debilitating thing. It helps me to read other peoples accounts of their recovery and I want you to know that you help me too. Thank you.